


Trance

by Bookkbaby



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal Sex, Asexuality Spectrum, Dysphoria, Explicit Sexual Content, Grey-Asexual Castiel, Knotting, M/M, Other: See Story Notes, Self-Lubrication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 02:59:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2134557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookkbaby/pseuds/Bookkbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas came back to himself slowly. The last vestiges of Trance faded, leaving behind only vague memories; a barrage of smells and a sick, needy heat low in his belly.</p><p>Oh, gods.</p><p>Cas felt like he was about to be ill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trance

**Author's Note:**

> Work also contains references to mpreg and allusions to the possibility of sexual assault/rape.

Cas came back to himself slowly. The last vestiges of Trance faded, leaving behind only vague memories; a barrage of smells and a sick, needy  _heat_  low in his belly.

Oh,  _gods_.

Cas felt like he was about to be ill.

He checked himself frantically, reassured when he realized all of his clothing was exactly where it should be. His body didn’t ache in any new and unfamiliar ways. There was only the slight ache of  _want_ , of being unfulfilled and empty, and the slickness of arousal. He had a day, no more, before his heat would hit him in earnest.

Cas took a deep breath. It shuddered in his chest.

He should be thankful, he realized dully. Not even half a century ago, an omega like him could have expected to wake up from Trance knotted to whatever alpha happened to be passing by at the time. Even today, it still happened sometimes. Cas was lucky.

Cas was lucky, even if his body had utterly betrayed him.

Cas wrapped his arms around himself and shook. He’d known he was an omega, of course, he’d known for years. He knew what happened when an omega reached what Nature had deemed ‘breeding age’. He knew the biological mechanics, the scientific theories on why omegas still experienced Trance and heat, the reasons omegas had slick and alphas had knots; he knew all of that.

It had never seemed so visceral until he lost himself to his biology. He felt almost disgusted with himself, sick and betrayed as his body acted against his will. Even now, he could still feel slick soaking into his underwear.

This was a nightmare come true. The fact that it could have been worse, that Cas could have woken up naked and not alone, was little consolation. And this was only the beginning.

 

How many more times would he undergo Trance? This was only the first of a long cycle that wouldn’t end until he was too old to carry pups. Heat suppressants existed, but nothing save a mate bond could end Trance.

How many more times would biology render Cas utterly vulnerable? Utterly vulnerable and  _wanting_  something he so rarely did in his waking moments?

The soft sound of someone clearing their throat caught Cas’s attention. He tensed, nerves spiking, as his brain finally caught up to where he was.

He was in a cave. There was an old mattress and a pile of blankets against the stone wall, one of the shorter sides almost touching the back of the cave. In his peripheral vision, Cas could make out no sunlight; the area was lit by few strategically placed lanterns. It gave the small cave an almost homey, romantic feel. Whatever alpha had ‘won’ him was apparently the traditional sort, though at least he or she hadn’t taken liberties with Cas while he was still unconscious.

Speaking of…

Cas took a deep breath as he prepared himself to turn and face whoever it was that had cleared their throat. The breath caught in his lungs as a faint breeze blowing in from outside carried the scent of the alpha in to his nose.

He turned sharply, eyes wide with shock. Dean smiled weakly back at him.

"Heya, Cas," Dean said. Cas just stared.

Dean was kneeling in the mouth of the cave, his hands folded neatly behind his back. Dean didn’t move as Cas stepped closer, though Cas noticed his nostrils flare and his eyes darken as he caught the scent of Cas’s oncoming heat.

Cas stopped, too stunned to know what to do.

He and Dean had been best friends for years. Only friends, though Cas had wanted more than that for some time. He wanted Dean’s kisses as well, so freely bestowed elsewhere, and his touch. He wanted Dean’s heart. The few times he’d imagined sex with any kind of curiosity or desire, he’d cast Dean in the role of his partner.

And to have Dean  _here_ , now, posed like an alpha awaiting his omega’s choice-

Cas practically fell to his knees. Dean shifted in alarm, bringing his arms forward as if to catch Cas and cushion his fall, but it was unnecessary. Cas settled himself on his knees across from Dean, unhurt, and Dean immediately returned to his previous position.

Closer now, eyes better adjusted, Cas could see Dean’s split lip and the beginnings of a bruise around his eye. He swallowed thickly. Dean really had fought for him, then. And now, as the clear victor of whatever battles had taken place while Cas had been in Trance, now he waited for Cas to decide.

Cas felt a thrill of hope. In all their years together, he’d never quite dared to dream that upon waking from his first Trance, he’d find Dean at his side.

He’d never thought Dean could want him  _back_.

Unless…

Cas hesitated, an insidious thought creeping in. Perhaps this was just Dean’s way of protecting him. Dean knew as well as Cas did that, despite all the advances made in the past few decades, it was not always safe to be an unmated omega. Perhaps Dean had only fought off the other alphas to save Cas from whatever terrible things another alpha without Dean’s good heart might do to him. It meant nothing.

Even Dean’s arousal, the desire in his eyes, could be attributed to biology. Any alpha would become aroused when presented with the scent of an omega in heat. It had nothing to do with Castiel personally, just his damnable body.

Except… if that was true, then why was Dean waiting for him on his knees with his hands behind his back? Why adopt such a submissive pose if Dean was only here to protect him?

It occurred to Cas that Dean was waiting and watching him apprehensively. Of course. He hadn’t spoken.

"Hello, Dean," Cas said. Dean smiled tentatively.

"Hey." Dean cleared his throat, perhaps embarrassed at having repeated himself.

An awkward silence fell, one Castiel didn’t know how to break. He wanted to ask what Dean meant with all this, why he had a den set up, if the hope stirring in Cas’s chest should be allowed to flourish, but he didn’t know how.

"What do you think?" Dean suddenly blurted out. Cas blinked, startled, but then he noticed the nervous, desperate look in Dean’s eyes. The longing.

"About?" Cas hedged, though his heart was alight with hope. His heart was pounding, everything inside him a sudden flurry of activity.

"You and me. Us," Dean said. He took a deep breath, but it eased none of the tension in his body. "Together."

Dean wanted to be his alpha. Dean wanted to be his  _mate._

Dean wanted  _him_.

The realization set off another wave of heat, both high in his chest and lower down. Cas groaned as his body released another batch of slick, muscles relaxing in excited preparation.

Cas noticed Dean bite back a moan, only strangled sound escaping his lips as his nostrils flared to catch the scent of Cas’s arousal. His green eyes were dark. Dean still didn’t move, though his shoulders went even more tense with the force of his restraint.

Cas crawled closer, loath to stand up but needing to close the distance between them. Dean watched him, hope, desire, and fear warring in his eyes.

"You made this den for us," Cas said, half a question. Dean nodded.

"I’ve wanted you for  _months_ , Cas,” Dean said. He wet his lips nervously, then added, more quietly. “Years. I wanted this for… but you-” He cut himself off.

"You never said anything," Cas said quietly. Dean shook his head and huffed a hollow laugh.

"How could I?" Dean asked. He gestured vaguely at Cas’s body. "I know… you know."

Cas had long ago confided in Dean his dissatisfaction with his own body, his terror at his control being taken from him, his lack of interest in anything sexual. The fact that his body would crave sex and would do what it could to entice alphas - any alpha - to mount him, had always disturbed and terrified Cas, even more so for the knowledge that there was no way to stop it.

The only thing he hadn’t told Dean was how imagining  _Dean_  made all of that less horrifying. How Dean’s scent meant home and safety; he could trust Dean to catch him, to safeguard him. Dean was the  _only_  person he could imagine as his life partner, the only person Cas could imagine enjoying physical intimacy with.

He just hadn’t ever thought the interest was reciprocated.

"But you still built a den for us," Cas said. "You fought for me."

He reached out and touched the side of Dean’s face, careful of his bruises. Dean took a deep, shuddering breath, and leaned into the touch. He smiled thinly.

"I wasn’t going to let some douchebag alpha take you home," Dean said. He slowly moved one of his hands from behind his back and covered Cas’s hand with his own. The entire time, he watched Cas warily for any hint of rejection, but found none. He breathed easy again. "And… I hoped."

The air between them was charged and thick. Hardly able to believe his own daring, Cas leaned in.

"Dean," he said. He could feel every one of Dean’s breaths against his lips. "I have been in love with you for a very long time."

It was strange, having that truth finally spoken, but well worth it for the way Dean’s eyes went wide and bright.

"You-" Dean said, then stopped. He took another long breath. "Do you want this? Do you want-"

"Yes," Cas said. He closed the last of the distance between them.

Dean’s mouth was soft and wet under his own, slack with surprise. Dean recovered quickly, and with a low groan, he began to respond. He cupped Castiel’s face with one hand and rested the other on Cas’s lower back, pulling him in until their bodies were flush. To Cas’s embarrassment, he felt a quiet whine begin in the back of his throat, another wave of heat washing over him and bringing with it another wave of slick. He felt empty and needy and he clung to Dean, anchoring himself in Dean’s touch and smell.

Cas could feel Dean, hard and hot through his pants, and  _big_. Cas broke the kiss with a gasp. Dean immediately loosened his grip, giving Cas whatever space he needed.

"Cas?" Dean asked worriedly. Cas shook his head.

"I’m fine, just… overwhelmed," Cas said. It was overwhelming to be here now, with Dean, in the den Dean had made for them. It was overwhelming in an entirely different way to be in heat, pressed up against the firm body of an alpha and feeling his erection through his pants.

Dean nodded and slowly leaned in, silently requesting permission to press a gentle kiss to Cas’s lips. Cas let him, relaxing at the tenderness of the touch.

How strange, they’d only kissed for the first time mere minutes ago, but it was already so natural to the both of them. It felt right, felt  _good_ , and Cas already wanted to kiss Dean again by the time Dean pulled back.

He could grow addicted to this closeness with Dean, he realized. The thought didn’t frighten him.

"We don’t have to if you’re not ready," Dean said. Cas knew his body was more than ready, was in fact screaming its readiness at Dean’s senses. Cas could feel the dampness soaking into his underwear, into his pants, and he could smell his own slick just as easily as Dean could. He could smell Dean’s arousal, could feel the proof of it against his leg if he moved closer.

His body was ready. Was  _he_?

"You want to be my mate?" Cas said softly. Dean nodded instantly.

"Yes," Dean breathed, voice hoarse.

"You want…" Cas touched his neck, right at the junction with his shoulder where a claiming bite would go.

"Yes."

Cas breathed in.

"Then yes," he said. He moved closer to Dean again, nervous but excited.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked, even as he swayed forward as though drawn in by gravity. Cas tilted his head but did not move back.

"Are you?" The mating bond was permanent. Dean was a young, handsome alpha; what if he regretted tying himself to Cas so young?

The sudden fear didn’t even have time to take root before Dean was snorting and shaking his head.

"Cas, I love you." His face flushed with embarrassment, but he didn’t try to take the words back. "I want this."

Cas felt himself relax.

"I want to be with you, Dean. I want to be your mate and I want you to be mine. And…" Cas hesitated. "I don’t want to go into Trance again."

"I’d protect you," Dean said instantly, seriously.

"I know." Cas did, really. Still, it eased something in him to know that even if they didn’t mate tonight, if Dean didn’t knot him during this first heat, Dean would still want him. Dean would still stay with him.

Cas kissed Dean again, tentatively licking the seam of Dean’s lips to request entrance. Dean shivered and groaned and let Cas in, his much more experienced tongue sliding expertly against Cas’s. Cas moaned and felt his body heat, the ache of emptiness becoming more pronounced. The sensation was strange, not quite unwelcome.

Cas tried to ignore it in favor of touching more of Dean’s skin.

He tugged at the hem of Dean’s T-shirt.

"Dean, please," he said. Dean stopped kissing him just long enough to yank off the offending T-shirt and then his hands were pulling at Cas’s shirt.

"Can I?" Dean asked hoarsely. Cas nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Dean kissed him deeply in thanks.

Dean was much more careful with the removal of Cas’s shirt than he had been with his own. He drew it up off of Cas’s body slowly and then carelessly dropped it, eyes never leaving Cas. Dean’s eyes darkened further, which sent an answering wave of heat through Cas’s body. He bit his lip to hold back his groan.

"Come on, I don’t want this to happen on the ground," Dean said. He was already starting to stand and Cas scrambled up after him. He shivered a little as the cool air of the cave hit his skin, but he was far from cold.

Dean pulled him in and kissed him again, mouth open, tongue exploring and hands roaming newly-bared skin. Cas melted into every touch, his hips pressing insistently into Dean’s. Dean groaned, the faintest edge of a growl in his voice.

"Wanted to do this somewhere a little nicer," Dean said, walking Cas backwards towards the mattress. "Wanted to get you silk sheets and flower petals and candles…" It sounded like an apology for the mattress and the old blankets Dean had piled on top of it.

Cas kissed him again.

"It’s all right," he said. "This is perfect, I don’t need any of that." Dean was perfect, exactly as he was; Castiel didn’t need to be romanced.

However, talk of the unnecessary but romantic luxuries reminded Cas of something he really needed to ask before this went any further. He was going into heat, meaning that right now, he was very, very fertile. Chances for pregnancy, even for a male omega, skyrocketed during heat.

He was nowhere near ready to have Dean’s pups. Next to the mattress, he stopped. Dean stopped with him, concerned.

"Do you have condoms?" Cas asked. Dean breathed out and smiled.

"I bought a box last week, stuck them between the bed and the wall," Dean said. He looked down. "I didn’t know what you were going to choose, if you wanted me or not, but if you did… I wanted to be ready."

Cas put a hand under Dean’s chin and kissed him again.

"Thank you," he breathed. Dean kissed him back, his hands falling to Cas’s hips. Dean groaned, grinding against Cas, and Cas shivered with want. He was wet and hot and he  _wanted_ , so badly.

They tumbled as one onto the bed. Cas hardly noticed, too wrapped up in Dean’s mouth and Dean’s skin to care. Dean pulled back from their kiss just long enough to wrestle with his too-tight jeans and shove them down. Cas watched avidly as Dean stripped, eyes drinking in the sight of his alpha.

Dean was beautiful, as Cas had known he would be. His hands were rough with the callouses of hard work, his shoulders and arms muscled, his stomach just a little soft from eating too much pie. His cock was thick, already fully hard, and  _big_. It was probably fairly average size for an alpha, but the thought that it would soon be _inside_  him, and then the base would swell even further, locking them together…

His body, at least, was completely in favor. Cas could feel his muscles slacken and flutter in anticipation, more slick coating his insides.

Dean crawled up over Cas’s body, covering him completely, and kissed him gently. Cas kissed him back, relaxing at the touch. Dean would be careful with him.

"I want to see you," Dean said lowly, mouthing and nipping at Cas’s neck. His hands toyed with Cas’s belt buckle, tugging lightly upon it. Cas nodded, smoothing his hands over Dean’s back.

Dean wasted no time. He pulled at the last of Cas’s clothes, laying worshipful kisses on Cas’s skin as he moved downward and slowly tugged Cas’s pants and boxers off. Cas lifted his hips and then his feet to help, wrinkling his nose in distaste when the wet cloth brushed against his legs. The air of the cave seemed cold against Cas’s skin, but the air moving over his bare flesh, the knowledge that Dean could  _see_  him, only made the heat inside his body flare hotter.

Then the pants and underwear were dropped off the side of the mattress and it was just Cas and Dean. Cas’s breathing caught at the look in Dean’s eyes as Dean gave Cas a slow once-over, lingering on all the skin that had been hidden before.

"Beautiful," Dean said, voice so low it was practically a growl. "Fucking  _gorgeous_ , and all mine.”

The scent of Cas’s slick seemed sharper, thicker, without the barrier of cloth to block it. Cas groaned and shifted, spreading his legs in unconscious invitation.

Dean groaned, tortured with want, and shifted, reaching for something off the side of the mattress closest to the wall. He fumbled with the box of condoms he’d hidden there, eventually managing to get one out and open it. Cas sat up and pressed a kiss to the side of Dean’s neck as Dean slid the condom on. He tossed aside the wrapper and then he devoted his attention fully to Castiel.

Dean kissed him, deep and hungry, and laid him back down on the bed. Cas spread his legs to allow Dean to settle in between them, lifting his hips to press his erection insistently against Dean.

"Dean…" Cas said. "I  _ache_ , I need-“

"I got you," Dean said. He kissed Cas again and reached down, fingers sliding through Cas’s slick. Cas knew he had to be leaking it constantly now, and they groaned in unison as two of Dean’s fingers sank inside him with no resistance whatsoever. " _Fuck_ , you’re so wet and loose for me, so good…”

Cas whined low in his throat, a sound he might’ve been embarrassed by if Dean hadn’t shuddered with want.

"Can we," Dean asked hoarsely. He cleared his throat. "Fuck, I wanted to take my time with you, but I need- I want-"

Dean couldn’t seem to find the words, but Cas knew what he meant and was already nodding.

"Yes, come inside me Dean, now  _now_ -“

Dean swallowed whatever else Cas might’ve said, kissing him enthusiastically and deeply as he drew his fingers out. Cas groaned unhappily at the loss, but then Dean was palming himself, getting Cas’s slick all over his latex-covered cock, and lining himself up.

Cas could feel the head of Dean’s dick pressing against him and he breathed, suddenly striving to keep calm. Dean paused and kissed him gently.

"It’s ok, Cas, I’ve got you," he promised. "You’re my  _mate_ , please… let me take care of you.”

"Dean…" Cas said. He inhaled deeply, breathing in the alpha’s scent, and he relaxed. The scent was home, was safety, was  _right_. “ _Dean_.”

Dean kissed him again, then again as he slowly pressed inside. Cas moaned as his body yielded to the intrusion, his slick easing the way. There was no pain, only the faint burn of stretching and the sensation of fullness.

Then Dean was fully seated in him, bodies completely flush. Dean stopped, his breathing coming out in ragged pants. Cas was grateful for the break as his body and his mind adjusted to being joined like this, to having a part of Dean  _inside_  him, to being naked on his back with an alpha above him.

"Dean," he whispered. He kissed Dean again, relishing the taste of him on his tongue. "Please move, I need-"

"Me, too," Dean said. He returned the kiss and, with a deep breath, began to move. The motions of his hips were slow at first, almost tentative, but then he hit  _something_  inside of Cas that pulled a choked cry from the omega’s throat. Dean growled and began thrusting in earnest, aiming for that spot as he kissed Cas again and again.

Cas knew neither of them were going to last long. It was too good, too  _much_ , and it seemed to take only moments before he was scratching down Dean’s back, knees up and locked around Dean, pleasure ripping through him. Dean growled, murmuring sweet, dirty nonsense against Cas’s neck as his thrusts grew more erratic.

Cas tilted his head back as his pleasure began to crest, offering his alpha his neck with a low whine. Dean growled and bit down, thrusting frantically to shove Cas over the edge into ecstasy.

Cas cried out something he thought might have been Dean’s name.

Dean was only a few thrusts behind and then he was shuddering too, burying himself as deep in Cas as he could go and coming. His knot swelled, stretching Cas almost painfully where it was buried inside him, but Cas hardly noticed.

It lasted for seconds. It lasted for hours. Cas had no idea. When he finally came down, his body was pleasantly exhausted and boneless with relaxation. The bite mark on his neck throbbed, but the pain was dulled by all the endorphins rushing through his blood.

He could feel his body stretch to accommodate Dean’s knot. He shifted a little, just to feel the tug, the proof that they were locked together. Dean groaned, his face still buried in Cas’s neck.

"Sorry," Cas said. Dean kissed his throat.

“‘s ok.” Dean lifted his head, smiling warmly. “That was…” He shook his head, smile widening, apparently unable to find the words. Cas smiled.

"Yes, it was," he said. He reached up to pull Dean in for another kiss. Dean returned it languidly.

Sex had turned out little like what Cas had pictured. Yes, it was messy, but it was hard to feel dirty with Dean at his side, practically glowing with contentment. Dean was lovely like this, sated and sweet, and Cas found himself staring.

Dean chuckled when he noticed the stare.

"What?" Dean asked. Cas smiled and shook his head.

"Nothing," he replied. "Just… I’m so glad it’s you."

The days ahead, the thought of being in heat and needy and  _empty_ , wanting, seemed much less daunting now. Cas tried to imagine waking up from Trance and finding any other alpha waiting for his reply at the mouth of their den. He couldn’t imagine having ended up in bed with anyone else, couldn’t imagine taking a knot from anyone other than the man currently lying beside him.

Dean had been his friend for years, his secret love for almost as long, and now he could love Dean openly. Now, they were mated.

With Dean, Cas could imagine doing this again and again, he could imagine years more of going into heat without fear. Perhaps, one day, he might even carry Dean’s children.

Still, that was for the future. For now, Cas was content to wrap himself up in Dean’s scent and the security of his arms.


End file.
